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She loved death, he loved life. She lived for him, he died for her. [entries|friends|calendar]

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[09 Apr 2005|01:35pm]
at times like this i wish i believed in god.
unfortunately...i don't. i can't.
i even went to a catholic school for 3 years.
those entire 3 years we always prayed in class. i prayed to believe in god. it never happened.
i feel like giving up on life.
no one understands or ever will
even drugs and alcohol don't work.

my grades are DECENT.
AP US History- A
Engish CP- A
Pre-Calculus CP- C-
Chemistry Honors- C+
Spanish 3 CP- B
...decent but not good enough for my mother.

apparently i've ruined my entire family's life.
i lie, i'm rude, insensitive, spoiled, manipulative, a hypocrite, a loser and i'm immoral and i have no intergrity.
basically a failure.

and sorry that i've fucked up things beyond fixing...

ps: i'm not asking for your pity. i don't need it. i pity myself, and thats just sad.
11 moments l i v e

[27 Feb 2005|05:14pm]
i'm getting a full-body transplant

who's chipping in?

they are quite expensive
4 moments l i v e

[27 Feb 2005|01:38pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

there is NO food here
and i am hungry

l i v e

[27 Feb 2005|12:59am]
ew the picture isnt working.

32 moments l i v e

[23 Feb 2005|04:40pm]
im ungrounded kinda

this weekend.

who's hanging out with me? eh?

ps: i'm in like. lol.
that sounds funny

oh and i have a new sn, its lykeomgsoscene


i passed my permit test.


only minus 2.

booyaaa bitchess.


2 moments l i v e

[22 Feb 2005|04:10pm]
Subject: my new AIM....
Body: add it


ps: rose: i had to modify it.
9 moments l i v e

[11 Feb 2005|08:59pm]
i'm not even allowed to eat.

and i've been straightedge forever,

like seriosly a longass time and its killing me.

and he's not calling or anything

the only person that calls is the one who i don't want to call.
5 moments l i v e

[09 Feb 2005|10:23pm]
im grounded indefinately.

report cards came today.

my parents have VERY high standards.

i didn't meet them.

boo hoo.
cry me a river.

they posted molly and rose's (my stepsisters) straight A's on the fridge while i was standing there and shoved mine in a pile or unwanted papers on the desk.

good job molly and rose. i'm very proud (not sarcastic)

i'm also proud to be the EVIL stepsister. lol.

yeah, my grades were NOT worthy of the fridge, but a little more respect please. i did pass all my classes. just a couple C's.
oh god.
all i'm going to hear for the next 5 weeks is
"you're not even going to get into moorpark!!!"

i'm not even allowed to use the computer for HW. i have to use it when they're asleep.


so because of stupid pointless school and retarded teachers i have to deal with this.


so apparently i wasted 16 almost 17 years of my mothers life.


i think that makes it my life though, because at this moment i have no friends. my parakeet hates me. no parents...they wish they could dis-own me and i'm grounded INDEFINATELY.


i'm not looking for pity, just reminding you all that your lives aren't that bad. walk a mile in my shoes, you'll be screaming and begging to let you out...out of this crazy life.

15 moments l i v e

[09 Feb 2005|04:15pm]
kay well u all know i wanted to start LJ again but i'm grounded indefinately.

in fact i will now be allowed to use the computer for even hw. lovely.

i'll miss you tear tear.

who wants to kidnap me???

no, i'll be keeping up slowly. very slowly. like at 3 am once a week slowly.


16 moments l i v e

[06 Feb 2005|08:57pm]
good to be back.
even though rose is the only one who reads this but thats okay.

and least SOMEONE will know how i feel about life right now.

so over a boy...his name is (rose you know)

he's....a boy and very flitatious

a little overly flirtatious and i definately don't need to become attatched to anyone and then have blahh happen to me, you know what i mean.

im focusing on grades. because i'm grounded right now b/c of them.

went shopping.
vintage shopping and regular shopping today.

i have a parakeet, it's name is sprinkles...my mother calls it sparkles and rose and molly call it nipple.

kim just calls it beast.

shows my lovely family.

i refer to sprinkles as an 'it' because i don't know its gender, not because i don't love it.

we will take sprinkles out of the cage next weekend i think.
i cleaned my room
its impecable.

yeah believe it biotches.


okay well i have to go do my HOMEWORK, yeah you're all so freaking proud.

peace out bean sprouts.


8 moments l i v e

[05 Feb 2005|04:41pm]
i think im switching back to doing LJ because i have alot of things i need to say and stupidmyspacers complain about their lack of a dick 24/7



boys suck. i hate them.
they are mean and don't communicate well.

girls suck as well.
they are all bitches and i AHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (&^(&*$%^$#%$#@@&*^(*#@&$

now don't even get me started about how i'm grounded. yeah. it basically sucks.

4 moments l i v e

fuck you [30 Dec 2004|10:54pm]
god damnit i swear i fucking hate those THINGS known as "parent"

fuck them. fuck you. i can't have a normal life. nooooo, why the fuck would that happen.

fuck my mother who is a fucking scum hag who goes and ruins my fucking life...and fuck my step father who always takes her side just because she's his lil "wifey" and fuck my real father who left when i was three...if he didn't none of this wouldn't have happened and i would have been living a life in russia...a better life.

i know this is spiteful and "cruel" but i don't give a fuck.

this is the 2nd new years in a row the bitch forces me to stay at home with the family. well fuck it, its not family...its some dentist she married and her fucked up friends.

and i can't deal with it.

i can't.

isn't new years supposed to be fun, where you party, go out and chill with friends and then for the rest of the year people talk about how fun it was and how awesome their NEW YEARS was?


yeah, thats what i thought. well kids, i guess i'm going to stay home in my fucking room and die in misery.


bye fuckers.
3 moments l i v e

[28 Dec 2004|06:17pm]
I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.

yeah i totally have been slacking on this LJ shit.

life is blah.

kay well peace.
2 moments l i v e

[03 Dec 2004|06:06pm]

ya thats it

oh and its like 2 degrees in cali
2 moments l i v e

[15 Nov 2004|03:45pm]

4 moments l i v e

[03 Nov 2004|09:06pm]
i wish i wasn't so emotional and i wish that my life was somewhat normal.

okay, work sucks because the guys are stoner white-trash assholes.

my social life sucks because i have no friends.

my social life sucks because i have become anti-social

somehow i don't fit into ANY groups at school. if anyone was to ask me, "who are your friends at westlake" i'd be like....uh katie. and she hates me too....she just hasn't told me.

my mother left me for 6 weeks.

that's shitty

and now i have a beta fish, and i can't name it because if you name a fish it will die.

i have limited everything

i STILL don't have my cell phone back

i can't drive legally.

my grades are awful.

no boys seem to be attracted to me anymore....i haven't been asked out since early summer.

i can't stand my teachers, they are totally not fair.

i don't get enough sleep

i feel bad for john kerry, he's getting old, and might not have another chance to run for president

i don't weigh 100 pounds.

i'm short. 5'4 is short no matter how short YOU are...it's still short

nobody calls me anymore....nobody

the guys at works still piss me off and i can't stop thinking about it

my boss gives me a hard time and i just want to sit and cry when he talks to me

i have to lift 32040239402 pound jugs of water

i almost killed a fish today....the customer freaked out

michelle is somewhat normal, and she's getting fired.

i'm not allowed to wear nail polish, it might hurt the fishies.....fuck that

i haven't done any hardcore drugs, and i dont have access to any

i want to just die for like 3 years, then wake up again

oh fuck.....i'm also a complainer, and that's not good

and i constantly want cigarrettes, even though i quit a long time ago.

and he never called. not even once.
6 moments l i v e

[25 Oct 2004|06:20pm]
please disregard the entry below

i've decided

i hate boys

i cannot become a lesbian

and what the hell does that make me??

22 moments l i v e

[24 Oct 2004|07:21pm]
i have a job, now all i need is a boyfriend

Any volunteers?
4 moments l i v e

[15 Oct 2004|02:19pm]
next time i "overdose" on pills, that will be the last time for sure

im off to go to the mall. bored and don't want to be home. whatever. bye losers.
3 moments l i v e

[05 Oct 2004|08:42pm]
[ mood | embarrassed ]

i haven't updated in forever because im a fucking idiot...lol i don't use the internet anymore....thats sooo for cool people. all i do is drugs these days. i snort up the coke....haha fucks....just kidding. actually i've been working mah ass off trying to raise my history grade. um yeahhhh, thats basically it, i have to go do art homework and nurture my wound. i fell on mah face today. it fucking sucked....only katie and uh tom saw....hopefully. whatever, it wasn't a funny fall, it was the kinda fall where you almost knock your teeth out, but instead cover your face with your elbow and then fuck that up.....lol. now i have a scraped elbow...kiss me and make me feel better....my mom yelled at me like 52098439124313 times b/c im such a manipulator. sorryyy....geezz okay well hope everyone is welll lallalalalallalala

vote for kerry!

or i guess you can vote for bush.....except he's HOMOPHOBIC

5 moments l i v e

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